Story to remember.....

The great Greek king, Alexander, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home. On the way, he fell ill and he was bedridden for months. With death drawing close, Alexander realized how his conquests, his great army, his sharp sword and all his wealth were of no use. He called his generals and said, “I will depart from this world soon. But I have three wishes. Please fulfill my wishes without fail.” With tears flowing down their cheeks, the generals agreed to abide by their king’s last wishes.
“My first desire is that,” said Alexander, “my physicians alone must carry my coffin. Secondly,
when my coffin is being carried to the grave, the path leading to the graveyard should be strewn with gold, silver and precious stones which I have collected in my treasury. My third and last wish is that both my hands should be kept dangling out of my coffin.” The people who had gathered there wondered at the king’s strange wishes. But no one dared to question. Alexander’s favorite
general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart. “O king, we assure you that your wishes will all be fulfilled. But tell us why do you make such strange wishes?”
At this Alexander took a deep breath and said, “I would like the world to know of the three lessons I have just learnt. I want my physicians to carry my coffin because people should realize that no doctor can really cure anybody. They are powerless and cannot save a person from the clutches of death.
So let not people take life for granted. The second wish of strewing gold, silver and other riches on the way to the graveyard is to tell people that not even a fraction of gold can be taken by me. Let people realize that it is a sheer waste of time to chase wealth. And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of the coffin, I want people to know that I came empty handed into this world and empty handed I go out of this world.” Alexander’s last words: “Bury my body, do not build any monument, keep my hands outside so that the world knows the person who won the world had nothing in his hands when dying.”

If destiny would have it that way, who could change it?

Today I was reading an email, and was stuck by these words that kept ringing in my ear "If destiny would have it that way, who could change it ?"

Innovative use of time spent in traffic jams....

From my grandfather's office room

I took this photo when I visited vellore last December.  This is from his office room. Unforgettable images always in the back of my mind...

Patti and Thaatha

P.K.Krishnaswamy

My grandfather, Sri. P.K.Krishnaswamy passed away on April 14, 2010. He is a person who inspired me the most in my life. He was a towering personality, like a big banyan tree, helping everyone whenever they had problems. He was fondly called as “Kitchami thaatha” by all his grandkids.

He practiced as an advocate (sales tax) in Madras High Court. He had retired as a Deputy Commissioner, Sales Tax Department in Vellore.

He had a massive heart attack on the night of April 14, 2010. He had gone to Chennai from Vellore for a final hearing of a case in Madras High court the next day. He was a very strong person mentally. Initially, when he had chest pain and breathing difficulty, he bore the pain and did not do anything about it as he did not want to cause any inconvenience to anyone. Two hours after bearing the pain, he walked to a nearby small hospital by himself (in Ambattur where he had gone to meet another advocate regarding the final hearing of a case in high court tomorrow). Unfortunately, there was no one to help him at that time. By that time, his condition had worsened very badly and his lungs were filled with fluid, with fluid oozing out of his mouth. The moment he lay on the stretcher, he collapsed. He passed away at around 11 p.m. that night. He would have been saved if he had received medical attention early at around 9 p.m. But alas, he did not want to trouble any of his sons and daughters even while he was in grave danger.

When it comes to this untimely death, I can reconcile that my grandfather is old. But what I cannot reconcile is that he did not have anyone to help him during his gravest hour and nor did he have any of his kith and kin near him during his last moments. He had to walk all by himself to a shoddy hospital even while enduring crushing pain.

He was a self-made man. Even while he was in studying 3rd forum in Ramakrishna mission school (in those days they used the term “forum” instead of standard) he had to work in a hotel grinding dosa batter to pay for his education (those days there were no electrical grinders). He joined as a clerk in the sales tax department in the town of Arni. He climbed up the ranks of the department by sheer hard work and intelligence. He also completed his education (M.A., B.L.) by correspondence while he was simultaneously working to support his family. After an illustrious career, he retired as Deputy Commissioner, Sales Tax Department in Vellore. After retirement, he refused to stay idle and therefore started practicing as an advocate in Madras High court. My grandfather and grandmother lived in Vellore, which is about 120 kilometers from Chennai. He used to commute from Vellore to Chennai whenever he had any cases posted in the High court. He used to make up to 3 to 4 trips a week and take all the stress of travel in his stride.

He used to tell us (grandkids) about some of the qualities like orderliness, punctuality, etc. He used to remind us that if we take a thing from somewhere, we should always remember to keep it back at the same place so that we don’t waste time searching for it later. He used to say that one can deduce the character of a person by observing how he folds back the newspaper after reading it. Another thing I learned from him is that he always used to promptly reply to any person who wrote him mail, be it official mail or a greeting card. He used to tell us that we should not waste any food. He always used to set an example by not wasting even a single grain of rice on his plate. While I was a small kid, he used to tell me that if we waste food and throw it down the drain, it will cry to the “Samudra raja” when it reaches the ocean. He never used to waste even the used office paper. He used to collect discarded one-side typed out papers, put them on a pad and write on their backside.

He was a very simple and modest man. He always wore only white color dress (white shirt, white pants or white veshti). He always had the sricharanam on his forehead. His lifestyle was very simple. Even though he could have easily afforded some fancy car, he kept only his plain old trusted ambassador car. I still remember the car number: TMC 9975. He never used to get anything for himself.

One of the stories that he used to tell was about the necessity of being practical in our lives. Once when he was small, he got fed up with his life and with full vairagya he walked all the way from the town of Cheyyar to Vellore without any rest. (About 60 Kilometers). After reaching Vellore, his legs pained a lot and he had to therefore rest for two days. He then regretted walking 60 kilometers on a whim without rationally thinking through its consequences. He mentioned this story to us to not do something in a whiff without thinking through its consequences practically.

Most of my childhood was spent with Thaatha and Patti in Vellore. I remember while we were in Coimbatore, we used to go to Vellore for all school holidays (quarterly, half-yearly and summer holidays). We used to long to go to Vellore because we had lots of activities there. I and my brother Chinni used to spend all day playing cricket in the yard in front of the house. Also during the summer holidays, our cousins Appu and Indhu used to come to Vellore from Bacheli.

He bought me my first cricket bat while I was studying in 6th standard. He asked the carpenter to shape the teak wood in the house into a cricket bat. It survives to this day. I remember thaatha will watch Doordarshan news around 7 pm every night and all grandkids must remain quiet during the news hour. While I was spending my holidays in Vellore, I observed that he always had some work to do and never took any rest. In fact, to prepare for some court cases, he used to get up as early as 4.30 a.m. and work alone in his office room. He used to take a short break only for some tiffin and tea which my grandma made at around 4 pm.

Whenever he used to visit our home, he always used to get a basket full of goods from Vellore. This included everything from coconuts from the coconut trees in the house, fresh fruits and vegetables from Vellore farmers market, plum cakes from D.V.P bakery, savories which grandma made, etc. I still vividly remember the bamboo case that was used by grandpa because I used to carry it from the ambassador car dickie to my house whenever grandparents visited us. He will also get stuff for my mamas and periamma (mom’s elder sister) in Madras.

He was a very warm and affable person. He always used to care about others and provide comfort to everyone. He had counseled me on various occasions when I had faced problems. He has helped all of his children when they ran into grave difficulties in their lives. He has also helped countless other people and families when they ran into difficulties. For example, when the person who used to do housework lost her husband due to the accident, he fought for the relief amount due to her from the insurance companies, got her son an employment in the bank, etc. Everyone used to turn to him for their problems seeking help and advice.

One of the things that I would like to learn from him was his way of speaking that soothed the listener. He was humble and genuine. I once told him that I had scored bad marks in my examination, he consoled me by saying that he scored even fewer marks in his matriculation exam. If I think about it now, I can understand how it made me feel comforting. He would always make us feel better, telling stories that everything happens for good. He floored the other person with his humility, sense of humor and straightforward approach.

He was a very generous man. He used to send remittances to orphanages without fail every month. He also provided support for a lot of temples. In our native place, Kolathur near Singaperumal koil, there is a temple for Thirunarayna Perumal and Amodhavalli thayaar. He provided full support for erecting the “dhawajasthambam” for the temple. His favorite temple though was the Varadharaja perumal temple in Velapadi, Vellore. He used to go there regularly. Whenever we visited Vellore, he would take us there. He accomplished the complete renovation and Samprokshanam of the temple.  My grandfather worked like a bee for the Samprokshanam from the start to the completion; he took it upon himself as a duty just like how one would work for their own house. Without any help from any of his sons or daughters, he had arranged everything right from talking to the stapathi, arranging the cook, raising money, logistics, etc. Samprokshanam took place on April 7, 2002. When visiting Thirupatkozhi Vijayaraghva perumal temple, on finding that it was very hot on the foot for the devotees during summertime, he spontaneously arranged for the mats so as to provide comfort for people's feet for the entire stretch of the Pradakshanam around the temple.
He was a Sanskrit scholar, well versed in Vedas, Upanishads and Divya prabandham. He taught a lot of shlokas to his grandkids.
His favorite pasuram was:
“Atthigiri AruLaLa PerumAl VanthAr
Aanai pari mEl Azhagar VanthAr
Kacchi tanil KaNN kodukkum PerumAL vanthAr
Karudha varam tarum DhaivapperumAL VanthAr
Mutthi mazhai pozhiyum muhil vaNnar vanthAr
Moolamena Olaimida vallAr vanthAr
UtharavedikkuLLE uditthAr vanthAr
Umbar thozhum Kazhal udayAr vanthAr thAmE”
(Swamy Desikan and Swamy Kuresar’s anubhavams of Lord Varadarajan.)
He used to chant this every morning as part of the aradhana and give the holy theertham to everyone in the house.

One story that particularly comes to my mind is the one he told relating to strong mental strength. My grandfather during his younger days was posted as a DCTO in a small town called Guddiyatham near Vellore. While posted there, he used to commute daily from the house in Vellore using a scooter (LML Vespa). One day while he was waiting along with the rest of the traffic on a railway level crossing, Garuda (bird) dropped a snake on a person (in a two-wheeler) in front of him. He told me that the other person fainted because of it and the mere shock had killed him. He mentioned that it is necessary to be courageous at all times and face any issue with a strong willpower. He followed that to the letter even during his final moments. He did not panic even while he was under a massive attack, did not ask for help from anyone, took it lightly and walked by himself to a nearby hospital towards the end. That is an immortal act of courageousness on his part.

He single-handedly created a lot of wealth for his family. He had two sons and three daughters. He was like a banyan tree, everyone used to lean on him for support. He helped countless people but never got anything back from anyone. Even during his dying moments, he did not ask for help from anyone.

“Trust in God. Faith in Others. Confidence in yourself”. Let this be a motto in your life, he had said to me once.

That will be the motto of my life. I will strive to live my life in the footsteps of my grandpa. As my grandma says, he is here only, blessing us and watching all of us from above.

Love you thaatha.